In early 2016, I was going through another ebb of emotions, fears and doubts. As I sometimes do when I’m distracted and worried, I got out some of my old journals and started reading through them.
I’ve journaled consistently since I was 14, so I have nearly 13 years’ worth of memories, prayers, quirky thoughts, and struggles to reflect on. I grew up on these pages, and still have so much more growing to do.
“You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the Lord your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed.” Joshua 23:14
I came across the above scripture and saw the date on the entry was around when I met Kurtis for the first time. Tears started filling my eyes as I read this entry because I had forgotten. I had forgotten what it felt like to be in the midst of that struggle. I had forgotten what that entry meant to me, but I saw how God had faithfully answered my prayers then, and I know he still will now, even when I forget.
As I continued to page through the journal, I came across some rather dramatic entries closer to the wedding, so dramatic that I laughed out loud at my past worry and anxiety. (When is the last time you’ve been able to do that?) I read portions of them to Kurtis. Yes, he confirmed. You were being dramatic.
At the time, the request was anything but a laughing matter. But what a difference four years makes. What a difference 10 years can make. And God’s faithfulness never changes through it all.
I’m not sure what you’re going through today. I’m not sure what dreams and fears you’ve poured out to God through prayer or on the pages of your journal. The words that fill my journal these days center around different topics than they did five years ago, but are no less heartfelt. But this time, I’m trying to do a better of job of remembering.
Remembering the Lord, he is faithful.
You faithfully answer our prayers with awesome deeds, O God our savior. You are the hope of everyone on earth, even those who sail on distant seas. Psalm 65:5
Prayer for today: “Lord, I know that your faithfulness never changes though my circumstances ebb and flow. Thank you for all the times throughout my life when you’ve come through and made good on your promises. You always have, and always will, even if it looks confusing now.”
Author: Samantha Hanni
I love spring, scarves, sno cones and sweet tea. I enjoy a good spy story, packing for a trip, organizing my desk, and grading everyone’s grammar, whether they want me to or not. I am an introvert (ISFJ), a firstborn, and queen of my home. I have been known to write words, dance dances and eat cake for breakfast.
Married to Kurtis Hanni since 2012. Mom to one fur baby, Podrick.